This was originally published in the May 1996 edition of Sporting News.
As her youngest child stood up in the same gym where he had enjoyed some of the best moments of his youth and then made a decision that will strip him of the rest of it, Pam Bryant gripped her husband Joe's arm a little tighter
"I have decided to skip college and take my talents to the NBA," Kobe Bryant, 17, said. "I know I'll have to work extra hard and I know this is a big step, but I can do it.
"It's the opportunity of a lifetime. It's time to seize it while I'm young. I don't know if I can reach the stars or the moon. If I fall off the cliff, so be it.
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Pride? Joy? Apprehension?
Only Pam Bryant knows for sure what the prevalent emotion was when her son announced last week he would attempt the astronomical leap from high school to the NBA.
“We were going to support him no matter what he chose to do," she says. "Whether it was college or going to the NBA, we're always going to support him. That's what we always do. This was Kobe’s decision. He has goals, and we're always here to support him.”
I don't know if Kobe Bryant made the night choice.
Time will tell if he did or didn’t.
The only thing I do know is that Joe and Pam Bryant care a heck of a lot more about the well-being of their son than you, me, or anybody else who cares to venture an opinion. To the Bryants, concern about their children's future isn't part of a sliding scale of sport items.
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Unlike most of us, they were interested in their son's life long before he became the best high school player in the country. It’s the same interest they take in their daughters — Sharia, 20, and Shaya,19.
"No matter what, my family comes first,” Pam Bryant says. "I don't care what this one or that one thinks. People can feel and sav what they want, but the last time I checked, where I live there are five members in my family They come first. That's what all of this is about.”
Mavbe the Bryants could have talked their son out of this, convinced him that a couple of years of college would serve him better.
In fact, considering some of the criticism Joe Bryant has come under, it probably would have been easier for them to have done that. He has been accused of forcing Kobe into the NBA, of trying to relive his life vicariously through his son.
Pam Bryant laughs that.
“If that were true, then Kobe would go to LaSalle for two years, find a wife, have three kids and raise a family,” she says. "That was Joe's dream, and it's worked out pretty well for us.
“Joe played in the NBA. He doesn't have to live through anybody.”
All Joe Bryant did was use the resources he had as a former NBA player to gather the information needed to help his son make a more in formed decision.
Isn't that what a father is supposed to do?
“I’ve been fortunate in the sense that I've been around and know the water he's about to tread," he says. “There are a lot of parents who would have no clue.
“I don't think you can fault me for having an understanding of what's going on. I've talked to all kinds of people, and I've touched a lot of bases. I think Kobe is lucky lo have someone who's been there
"Hey I would have liked to have seen Kobe go to school for four years and go to Harvard. But is that reality? Would he have stayed in school for one or two years? This was Kobe’s dream. This is his life, so it was was his decision.”
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What this really comes down to is Joe and Pam Bryant raised their children to be individuals. They have faith that their parenting will lead their children to make correct choices
Maybe in a society that has become so cynical about the strength of the family, we just find is too hard to comprehend that the Bryants have raised a child who is equipped to deal with the things he will face a such an early age.
Obviously, the Bryants think differently. Neither parent has any apprehension about the pitfalls of placing their 17-year-old son into the fast-paced, harsh and sometimes cruel world of professional sports
“With Kobe, nothing really concerns me about this decision,” Pam Bryant says. “Like any parent, I have concerns about drugs, alcohol and fast women, but kids are exposed to that in high school.
But Kobe's a well-balanced young man. He's always stayed focused on what is important. I don't worry with Kobe or any of my children, because we have a good family foundation. He's always going to have support from us. I don’t have any doubt, just support and a lot of love.
Joe Bryant describes his son as "17 going on 25." He says the fact that Kobe spent most of his formative years living in Italy has given him a maturity and life experience beyond that of others his age.
"Living in Italy was the key," he says. "The maturity and responsibility our kids learned over there. The people who have made negative comments really just don't know Kobe. He's a super kid. and he knows what he wants to do and can accomplish."
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I don't know if Kobe Bryant made the right decision. I don't know if his parents should have persuaded him to do otherwise.
But I do know the Bryants have raised, cared for and nurtured their son for 17 years. They want the best for him.
"My wife and I have been married for 22 years,” Joe Bryant says. “We've been through ups and downs, but that's a part of life. But the most important thing is that we wanted to raise our kids to be stronger and better people than we are.
"So many times you hear parents say, 'I want my kids to have to work as hard as do.’ I don't want my kids to have to crawl. I crawled. I want my kids to start out walking, so that when they pass the knowledge to their kids, they'll be running."