There are many slow days in Test cricket.
There are also days that start at a glacial pace before careering into chaos.
And then, there are days - more frequent in COVID times - that are completely bonkers.
Day 4 of the Adelaide Test was definitely in the region of bonkers, both off and on the pitch.
It started with the news that a member of the BBC’s broadcast team had returned a positive COVID test.
The media centre was filled with a tense uncertainty as journalists and crew members wondered if they’d receive a socially distanced tap on the shoulder and be asked to join those who were already in isolation.
The ABC and the BBC were unable to broadcast from the ground and when a Fox Sports crew member also returned a positive test, the media centre thinned out even more.
Some journalists who were not close contacts quite literally fled the state after testing negative, knowing that - unlike Pat Cummins - they didn’t have the luxury of a private charter plane to take them home if they were unlucky enough to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.
As this was unfolding, Joe Root was facing some gentle throwdowns as he warmed up for the day.
These were meant to be gentle half-volleys and Root doesn’t usually wear protective equipment when he faces them.
But in what was described as a “freak accident”, one ball nipped back in and clattered England’s captain in what the ECB described as his “abdomen”, but was truthfully the, ahem, Jatz crackers.
It was severe enough to prevent Root from taking the field, instead sent for scans; perhaps he will consider the wisdom of wearing a box in the future.
On the field, Stuart Broad was causing considerable mayhem in his second over.
First he claimed the wicket of Marcus Harris, who edged a full delivery for Jos Buttler to take a glorious diving one-handed catch; redeeming himself somewhat after several so-called ‘Buttler-finger’ moments in this series.
That brought Steve Smith to the crease and the first ball he faced from Broad drew another edge; Buttler again dived to his left but this time the acrobatics were too spectacular and his hand went past the ball, which clattered into his wrist.
The next ball clattered into Smith’s pads and Broad celebrappealed as only he can, jazz hands and all, but the umpire was unmoved.
Ben Stokes, filling in as captain, appealed and while ball tracking showed the ball hitting the stumps, the impact was umpire’s call.
From there play returned to a semblance of normality until England’s hapless planning was laid bare; with Root still off the field and no full-time spinner available, Stokes was forced to ask Ollie Robinson to bowl three overs of off spin to get the over rate back on track; England have already been docked eight World Test Championship points in this series because of slow over rates.
If that wasn’t discombobulating enough, Dawid Malan chimed in with his part-time legspin and - to complete the absurdity - snared his first Test wicket, that of Marnus Labuschagne, out slogging merrily to Stokes at deep midwicket.
Root returned to the field and claimed two wickets of his own; he is now England’s second highest wicket taker of the series after the offspinning seamer, Robinson. Redonkulous.
But the shambolic weirdness was summed up just before stumps.
Root and Stokes were desperately trying to keep England’s slim hopes of drawing the match alive by batting through to the close of day.
Starc steamed in and hurled a 142kph rocket that hit Root flush in the unmentionables for the second time that day.
The entire male population of Adelaide Oval groaned in sympathy - even Starc winced - as Root collapsed in a heap.
No protective equipment could save him from the pain and even Australia’s fielders, while trying to hide their amusement, had sympathy enough to wave away the intrusive spider cam that hovered over a crumpled Root.
Eventually he returned to his feet, with only three overs to survive until the end of play.
But in the final over Starc struck again, this time drawing the edge with some clever seam movement; Carey took the catch and Root was gone, taking with him all but the slimmest hopes that England might be able to somehow draw the match and capping off the absurdity of a truly bizarre day of Test cricket.